Of Rifles and Repercussions
by vampire-otaku1
Summary: Both Zoro and Sanji are too pigheaded to admit there might be anything other than thinly veiled hatred between them. That is, until a bullet opens both their eyes to the fickleness of life, and reminds them that sometimes you just have to take a chance.
1. Chapter 1

_**The**_ fic that started Vamp down the path of ZoSan madness... The first _One Piece_ fanfic she'd ever started, the epic that spanned over 28 written pages and helped see her through many a boring college class. XD ANYWAY, after _much_ editing, she decided to share it. 'Cause being the first, it is very close to her heart.

_One Piece_ ain't mine. Zoro x Sanji.

_

* * *

__Stolen kisses, teeth nibbling on his bottom lip..._

_A hand tugging almost frantically at his belt..._

_Biting down on the shoulder of a certain blonde to keep from waking the crew with his cries as he came..._

Zoro awoke with a gasp, sweat trickling down his face and noticeably aroused. _Fuck_. He drew a hand across his brow and attempted to calm his panting breath. The dreams were occurring more frequently now and with accelerating intensity. He tried to focus on swimming in the icy river of Drum Island and other very cold pursuits.

It was driving him fucking -crazy-.

It took a while, but he finally got the heat in his blood cooled enough to be able to operate rationally. With a slight groan, he stood to stretch the rest of the tension from his body and glance around the barely lightened ocean from his perch in the crow's nest. Thank whatever gods there may be that he was on watch; he couldn't imagine waking in that state in the bunkroom or somewhere more conspicuous.

What brought those dreams on, he had no idea. Something about that skinny cook had captured his mind's eye, and he found himself noticing things, thinking things, that he had no business doing. Like how Sanji's blonde hair looked so achingly touchable when it glowed in the warm sunlight. How wiry muscles slid fluidly under his skin as he fought. How his tight ass almost -begged- Zoro to reach out and caress it...

**-Thunk- -Thunk- -Thunk-** Zoro bounced his head repeatedly off of the mast. Having his thoughts travel in that direction was _not _going to help him... He paused and turned his head as something white flashed across his peripheral vision. Just over the horizon to the west rose a large white sail, the obnoxious blue seagull of the Marine emblem impossible to miss. It was the perfect distraction.

He grabbed the edge of the crow's nest and boosted himself out to descend the rigging. A good fight was one way to get his mind off of... other things. He strode across the deck to yell a warning down to the crews' quarters before positioning himself before the rail to observe the oncoming ship. Zoro grinned as settled and awaited the coming battle with anticipation.

* * *

Sanji was up and dressed in seconds, throwing a few mild kicks to his still dozing nakama before ascending the ladder to the main deck. The rest of the sluggards probably wouldn't rouse until cannon fire cut through their sleep-clouded thoughts. 

He watched Zoro stare at the coming ship with a gleeful smirk, thumbing the blade of Wadou slightly from its scabbard with a distinctive shnick. Few things seemed to rouse the idiot like the prospect of a bloody battle.

"Oi, shitty-swordsman," Sanji grinned, "looks like I won't have time to kick your ass this morning."

"Che, like that would ever happen, asshole," Zoro sneered, only to become the recipient of a perfectly aimed kick to the back of his head.

"Dammit, ero-cook..."

"Oi, guys, what's going on?" A rumpled-looking Luffy emerged from the trapdoor to the men's quarters, hair on end and rubbing his eyes. Usopp and Chopper followed in similar state.

A match flared, releasing the distinctive smell of sulfur into the early morning air as Sanji lit his first cigarette and sent up a fragrant tendril of smoke. "Looks like breakfast is going to be late, Captain."

"...late?" Luffy whimpered. Slamming his hat over his raven mop, he leapt up onto the rail to scream at the oncoming Marine ship. "BASTARDS!"

Zoro couldn't help but chuckle at his captain's outburst; it would be a cold day in Hell before Luffy failed to think with his stomach. Zoro glanced back towards the billowing white sail and drew his swords.

"Bring it on."

* * *

A group of Marines ran howling towards one end of the ship only to be thrown back by the blow of a well-placed foot. 

Sanji was having a blast. Sure, kicking the shit out of those pitiful Marines was a piece of cake. But it was so exhilarating to be fighting a fresh enemy, breaking the monotony of weeks spent at sea. He wouldn't admit it to that sword-fixated asshole, but it made their daily confrontations all the more enjoyable.

"Fuck off," he growled, sweeping out a powerful leg to take down another group of Marines attempting to rush him. Why the stupid seaweed-head was beginning to plague his thoughts he couldn't quite figure out, and it was annoying.

So focused was he on thrashing Marines and -not- thinking about the swordsman that he didn't notice the rifle taking aim at him from the other ship.

* * *

_That fucking bastard was aiming a goddamn gun at Sanji._

Zoro felt his chest constrict suddenly, his breath catching in his throat. Steel sang as he sliced a path through several warm bodies almost absentmindedly as he tried to close the distance between them, to get the stupid cook out of the -fucking- way, but he just couldn't seem to move fast enough.

"Sanji!" He yelled, plowing through what seemed like an endless tide of sword fodder. He could see the cook start, and he turned towards Zoro with his ridiculous eyebrow distorted in an almost puzzled look. _Shit, not far enough_.

Without thought he flung himself at the cook a split-second before the gun's report thundered through his ears, followed by an explosion of pain as the bullet tore through the muscle and bone of his back. A cry was wrenched from his throat as he staggered and collapsed against his goal. He tried to pull himself off, but his limbs had turned to lead and Zoro struggled for air that wouldn't seem to come, vision clouding and the noises of battle fading from his ears.

He barely registered his name being wrung from Sanji's lips and the strong arms lowering him to the ground before the darkness took him. His last thought considered the irony of finally being in the cook's arms and not being able to enjoy it.

* * *

A.N.: Add to your 'story alert' so you know when the next chapter comes out! 


	2. Chapter 2

Rating: PG-13 (language, gore)

* * *

All fighting seemed to cease for a moment as the combatants' eyes flew to the faling swordsman like iron to a magnet. 

Sanji staggered under Zoro's weight, finally managing to grasp him under his arms and lower him to the deck. All thoughts and sounds of the ceasing struggle seemed trivial as he stared at the green-haired swordsman, trying and failing to comprehend what had compelled him to throw himself in the path of that deadly bullet. The remaining Marines found themselves facing a crew of enraged Strawhats who quickly returned the favor; the crunch of cracking bones, the spraying of bodily fluids, and the screams of the dying echoing briefly across the deck before finally fading away.

Ignoring the ongoing carnage, Sanji rested a hand on Zoro's shoulder and shook it lightly. "Oi, shitty-swordsman, look at me." It was just another wound; he'd been hurt worse than this. _Nothing_. "Come on, bastard, you're starting to scare me here." He'd surrender even that little bit of pride to have the swordsman turn and smirk at him, growl, do -something-.

It was then he noticed the strange gasping sounds emerging from the swordsman's throat; the hissing, bloody froth that seemed to bubble from Zoro's wound with each breath. He inhaled another strangled gulp of air before brief, hacking coughs tore through his injured body, spraying blood across Sanji's knees and the deck in a grisly caramine splatter. "Shit!" The cook's wild gaze frantically searched the deck for the tiny doctor. "Chopper! Dammit, somebody!" He ripped off his jacket and covered the disturbing mess of Zoro's back, hoping to stem the tide of blood.

The scrabble of tiny hooves alerted him that his cries had not gone unnoticed. Chopper dropped his little medical bag beside the two of them and quickly assessed the situation, kind eyes sweeping Sanji's face before he lifted the black jacket and began to work. "I'm gonna need you to move, Sanji."

"No! Dammit, it should have been me, I need to-" Suddenly a pair of strong arms were there, lifting and pulling him from Zoro's side. He fought, oh how he fought; it was his fault that the Marimo was lying in a steadily growing pool of blood on the deck, turning blue...

"Sanji." The unnaturally serious tone of his captain gave him pause as he was turned to face the younger man. He looked into the pair of concerned black eyes. "There's nothing you can do."

"But-"

"-Sanji-." Luffy shook him slightly. "You're not going to help Zoro by getting in Chopper's way."

The cook let out his breath in one great shuddering sigh and slumped to the deck, Luffy releasing him. Drawing up his knees, he hid his face in his hands; his captain watching him quietly for a moment before settling down beside him.

It was several minutes before Luffy spoke again. "You aren't the only one who cares about him, you know."

Sanji was silent.

Luffy kept his eyes on the slowly rising sun as he continued. "He'll be OK, just you wait. There's no way a stupid little bullet is gonna keep our Zoro down long." He glanced over at the cook, whose face was still hidden by his long, pale fingers, and smiled widely. "Don't worry."

* * *

Three days passed in a blur, and while Chopper had managed to repair Zoro's collapsed lung as best he could, it was clear that the swordsman's troubles were far from over. His periods of consciousness had faded into delirium as an intense fever set into his already weakened body. Concerned, Chopper ordered the crew to take shifts watching over him.

Currently Nami had 'Zoro Watch,' and seated herself at a small table pulled up next to the makeshift sickroom. Usopp had hung a curtain to make a separate space in the men's quarters for Zoro to rest; he lay on the futon, propped slightly to ease his breathing and the stress on his wounded back. Nami tried to offer his beset body some comfort as he writhed in fever-induced dreams, periodically wiping his face and neck with a damp cloth. It was all she could do.

* * *

_He was back on deck, fighting to get to Sanji before that bastard fired the gun. But he couldn't seem to get his feet to move, couldn't seem to close the distance._

_"Sanji!" He could see the cook start, turning Zoro again with that same puzzled look. But this time there was no one to block the bullet; Zoro heard the report and saw the cook's chest explode as blood and flesh splattered the deck. Saw Sanji's wide blue eyes lock on his as his body sank slowly to the ground. _

_Suddenly he was there, holding Sanji's limp form in his arms as the cook's breath shuddered from his body, eyes rolling up into his head and what little life remaining in him fluttering away. Everything around Zoro seemed to fade away as he held the lifeless man in his arms, one solitary tear slipping unbidden down his face. "C'mon, Sanji," he whispered, pressing light kisses over the bloodstained face. "Bastard, you can't leave me like this." The normally stoic swordsman began rocking with grief, clutching the blonde's empty shell to his chest, repeating his name, over and over. "Sanji..." _

* * *

"Sa...nji."

Nami left her maps and settled in beside the swordsman as he began quivering in what appeared to be sorrow. Lips pursed in concern, she wrung the wet cloth over a bowl of cool water and began dabbing the sweat from his troubled face. The cook's name continued to fall from his lips, tears leaking from the corners of his clenched eyes.

"Shhh, Zoro, it's alright." Her heart ached for her nakama, for the brokenness in his voice as he struggled with the demons in his mind. Hearing Sanji's name coming from the swordsman was a surprise, but after watching him take a bullet for the love-cook and the said cook's resulting distress, Nami suspected that there was something going on between them. Whether they realized it yet or not. The navigator's lips quirked in a small smile. She'd have been teasing them relentlessly if Zoro wasn't in such sorry shape.

Several quiet taps on the wall of the room drew her attention from her patient, and she looked over to see Sanji watching them from the doorway with tired, bloodshot eyes. He didn't look as if he had slept much since the attack, and was dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants rather than his usual immaculate suit. "Your watch is up, my beautiful Nami-san." His voice lacked much of its usual enthusiasm, which Nami took note of as well. At this rate, she'd bet a hell of a lot of beli that there were some sort of feelings between the two of them, even if the stubborn bastards refused to acknowledge it. Sanji crouched next to Nami and the futon, glancing over the prone figure occupying it. "Has there been any change?"

Nami stood quietly, setting the bowl on the table and gathering her map-making materials before speaking. "In his condition? No. His temperature is still very high. Chopper's managed to keep the infection to a minimum so far, but..." She shrugged. "It's just gonna take time."

Nami walked to the door to the women's quarters and paused, hand on the knob, before turning back to the cook. Watching his face, she added, "He's been calling for you nearly the entire time I've been watching, you know."

Sanji's eyes widened in his pale face as her words registered. A blush settled over his features before he quickly glanced away. "I see." He began picking at the blanket nervously before turning back to her, a shadow of a sneer attempting some semblance of normality. "Wonder why the shitty-swordsman would do that?"

Nami rolled her eyes. "Men are so dense," she muttered. She scowled at the cook. "I don't know all the details, idiot, but there is -something- going on between you two. And furthermore-" She cut off the blonde's protest with a wave of her hand. "I think you'd both do better to admit it and move on. There's nothing wrong with caring for someone like that." She opened the door to her quarters and stopped just inside the door. "For... for loving someone like that." The door slid closed with a quiet -ca-clunk-.

Sanji stared after at the closed door with his mouth slightly ajar. Thoughts were churning within his mind, and all of a sudden things began falling into place.

_Love?_


	3. Chapter 3

_One Piece_ still ain't mine.

* * *

Nami's words still haunted him long after she had left, as he sat by the swordsman's side. _I think you'd both do better to admit it and move on. There's nothing wrong with caring for someone like that. For... for loving someone like that. _

Sanji ran his hands through his blonde hair and settled them behind his neck with a groan. So much had happened in the last few days, so much that confused the hell out of him and scared him all at the same time. Sure, he might have admitted to himself that there'd been a little lust that had existed for his crewmate before Zoro saved his life. He wouldn't have minded relieving a little sexual frustration with the swordsman; far from it. But perhaps Nami was right, maybe... maybe behind that lust was a growing love for the marimo-headed idiot that had been growing, just waiting for a chance to blossom. _Eww_. Too bad that last thought sounded like a poorly-written romance novel.

He peered down at Zoro, lying there so helplessly. Nothing of the strong front he usually put up around the rest of the nakama was visible; no threatening scowl, no curse-filled insults. He would have looked almost peaceful if it weren't for the subdued emotions playing across his face from fever-induced dreams.

* * *

_The deck was bathed in blood, corpses strewn haphazardly like morbidly discarded dolls on a playroom floor. Zoro stood in the midst of the gruesome scene, splattered in body fluids and god-only-knew what else. The atmosphere was as quiet and lifeless as the dead surrounding him. _

_"Zoro." _

_That single, whispered word seemed to echo out of nowhere, and he whirled frantically to find its source. _

_Standing in a previously empty space was the blonde cook, looking immaculately out of place among the carnage but for the gory destruction that was the left side of his chest. A tinge of sadness touched those sky-blue eyes, accompanying the wry twist of his lips._

_Zoro's mouth hung open, lips moving silently to the words that couldn't be sounded._

_"Stupid shitty-swordsman." That ethereal voice floated to his ears from what seemed like miles away. Sanji thrust his hands in his pockets, striking a trademark pose before continuing. "Making this huge fucking mess, but not able to protect one damn person." Fingers crept up to the hole in his chest, and he glanced down at the long, thin hands that came away stained crimson. He chuckled softly before returning his gaze to Zoro's stricken green eyes. "Protect _**me**

_With that, the ship, the dead, everything but the swordsman and the cook seemed to fade into white. Zoro still hadn't moved from the spot he'd first found himself in, frozen by shock and horror at everything around him._

_Sanji's eyes were bright with unshed tears as he lifted a bloodstained hand towards Zoro in an almost pleading gesture. "Why?"_

_Then he was swallowed in a sudden surge of light that washed out the swordsman's vision. With a choked cry, Zoro struggled to reach out, to grab the other man, but he was no longer there. As the light began to fade into blackness Zoro dropped to his knees, thoughts of guilt and shame and something else bursting forth in an anguished scream before he was finally, blessedly was dropped back into the nothing that was unconsciousness._

* * *

Sanji hadn't even realized that he had drifted into a light doze on the edge of the futon until the high-pitched keening sound that was so totally -not- Zoro brought him suddenly back into awareness like a bucket of ice water.

He stared frozen for only a split second before bending close to speak in low, soothing tones. "Oi, shitty-swordsman, it's OK." The insult fell like an endearment from his lips as he grabbed the hand clutching frantically at the sheets and rubbed it between his own. "Shhh, it's OK." Sanji repeated the phrase over and over again like a mantra as the swordsman's whimpers slowly ceased and his panicked breathing began to slow.

Suddenly a pair of unfocused green eyes flew open and moved to his face. "Sa...nji," the hoarse baritone voice broke the silence.

"I'm here." The hand the cook held in his own suddenly gripped like a vice on his wrist.

"Sanji." A tongue shakily ran over fever-parched lips before he continued. "I... I'm sorry." Sanji's heart ached to see the swordsman so delirious, so contrary to his normal snarky self.

"Nothing to be sorry for, you stupid marimo." With his free hand he reached over to tentatively brush his fingers over sea-green hair soothingly. "If anybody, it's me that should be apologizing-"

Zoro's hand transferring its hold on Sanji's wrist to a death-grip on the front of his t-shirt stopped the cook's words. Zoro's eyes had widened in what almost seemed like fear, something alien and wrong on his features. "Please... don't leave... me... again." The fist on his shirtfront trembled as he spoke. "Please... Sanji..."

It was the raw need in his voice, a need for comfort and assurance, that brought Sanji to a decision he would never have considered under normal circumstances. Easing himself down on the futon next to the wounded man, he gingerly embraced Zoro's prone form, conscious of his injuries. "I'm here." He gently ran fingers along the edges of Zoro's short green hair before sliding them briefly along that strong jaw line. "I won't go anywhere."

Sanji could almost visibly watch the tension drain from the swordsman's upper body as the words pierced fever-clouded thoughts. Zoro drifted back into unconsciousness, eyelids slowly fluttering closed over deep emerald eyes. The blonde watched him sleep for a while. At least until the fatigue of the past few days finally pulled him into slumber as well.

* * *

The first thing that returned was his sense of smell. Cigarettes, spice, the salty tang of the ocean, and a quasi-familiar musk that melded into an oddly pleasant scent.

Then he noticed a warm arm over his waist, connected to an equally warm body curled up next to his own. _This is nice_.

He opened his eyes slowly, eyelids sticking together as if they had been glued shut. As the world slowly came into focus, he observed the sun-kissed blonde hair of the man next to him, laying haphazardly over a pale face relaxed in sleep.

Everything was wonderful until his thoughts finally caught up with his senses. Zoro's eyes widened in shock as realization hit, that Sanji was laying next to him; no, Sanji was -cuddling- him. This was not Normal. This was not How They Acted.

"Son of a -bitch-!" He jerked away from the embrace, hissing in pain as he pushed wildly at the cook in a sudden burst of energy. "What the -fuck- are you doing!"

Sanji's pleasant dreams suddenly fled as he felt himself being pummeled by a single fist that, though weakened, still fucking -hurt-. His eyes snapped open to find an awake, aware, and extremely angry swordsman. _I guess his fever's broke, _he thought, snarling at the other man as he scooted out of range of his fist. Some small part of Sanji's mind wanted to weep at the loss of intimacy.

How was he supposed to explain himself?

* * *

A.N.: Add to your 'story alert' so you know when the next chapter comes out! 


	4. Chapter 4

_One Piece _still isn't mine.

* * *

A week had passed since Zoro's fever had broken, twelve days since the fateful morning that threw the lives of two Strawhat pirates into disarray. After awakening with Sanji at his side and driving him off, the swordsman proceeded to proclaim his recovery with gusto, even though it took him nearly a full day before he had the strength to drag himself out onto the upper deck (much to Chopper's chagrin). It took the little doctor threatening to throw all of his weights and sake overboard until he grudgingly agreed to delay his training for another week. Normalcy returned to their tiny ship for the most part. Except that Zoro seemed to be avoiding Sanji like the plague, even going so far as to avoid even the verbal and physical sparring that the cook had grown to expect and almost enjoy. 

Sanji's thoughts conflicted as he quietly prepared lunch. Part of him exalted that things were almost back to normal, but that quieter, softer side that he liked to pretend didn't exist -at least when it came to Zoro- was saddened. That part of him wanted to still be laying next to the swordsman, stretching that peaceful moment. Setting his knife down carefully, he grasped the edge of the counter and bowed over it, berating himself. "Fucking stupid. This whole thing is fucking stupid," he muttered.

The galley door slammed open, startling the cook out of his brief reverie. A pair of rubber arms stretched in to grab the sink, and with a loud boing were followed by a whining, red-shirted bundle of energy. "Sanji! I'm hungry!"

Running a hand through his hair in exasperation, he glared at his voracious captain. He just wanted some peace and quiet, dammit. How hard was that? "Fine," he snapped. Wrenching open a cabinet, he grabbed a bag of senbei and threw them in Luffy's general direction. "Now out." The blonde turned back to his cooking, shoulders tense as he waited for the expected sound of the galley door closing behind the rubber man. And waited. And waited some more.

Sanji turned his head slowly to glance over his shoulder. Luffy's eyes were on him, open wide over his hanging jaw.

"What?"

The younger boy's almost comical expression twisted into one of concern. "Umm, Sanji... are you feeling O.K.?"

_If looks could kill..._ "I'm fine," he ground between clenched teeth as he turned back to the counter in an attempt to discourage further conversation. Again he waited for the sound of the galley door, and again was disappointed. Scowling at the counter top, the blonde refused to acknowledge Luffy's continued presence.

With a crinkle of cellophane the bag of senbei landed carefully on the counter next to him. Now it was Sanji's turn to sport an amazed look as he twisted towards his abnormally sober captain, shock overcoming annoyance. Luffy never turned down food.

The rubber man turned and braced himself against the counter, facing Sanji. He started slowly. "I may not be as clever as Nami, but... I can tell that something's bothering you." Face breaking a smile, he continued. "You'd have kicked my ass out of here a while ago if you were O.K."

Sanji stared at him for a few moments before patting his jacket down for a fresh cigarette and his matches.

Leave it to Luffy to be inanly perceptive. Inhaling a lungful of smoky relaxation, he blew it out slowly before pivoting in his captain's direction. "It's really nothing important. Just... some personal shit."

"Hm." The rubber man pulled himself onto the counter and began banging his heels obnoxiously against the lower cabinet door. "The kind of stuff you gotta figure out yourself." He paused, and Sanji could almost see the wheels turning before Luffy continued. "Well, I don't know what's wrong, but I figure you can fix it, if you try."

"Yeah, I guess." Sanji let the ghost of a smile reach his lips. "Now get your ass off my counter, idiot." The cook supplemented his demand with a swift, but light, kick to the back of Luffy's head, knocking his skinny frame sprawling.

"Hahaha, that's better." Luffy stood, dusting himself off with a grin. "I want my nakama to be happy, 'cause otherwise it's no fun living together."

That simple logic made perfect sense to the cook. Whenever a true fight broke out, the rest of the crew would be walking on eggshells and praying that the involved parties made up soon so things could go back to normal... Sanji ground the spent cigarette into an ashtray and reached over to prod the Luffy towards the door with his foot. "Now get out; lunch won't finish itself."

The rubber man cheered and scrambled for the door, leaving Sanji to his much-neglected lunch preparation. Just before the door swung closed, an arm stretched back to grab the bag of senbei and disappeared with them.

_Some things never change_, he noted with a roll of his eyes. Reaching for the abandoned knife, he attacked some vegetables with renewed vigor. He'd 'fix' his problem all right, if he could just figure out how...

* * *

Zoro stood at the stern, staring blankly out over the water. He rested his hands lightly on the rail, swords rattling slightly as his weight shifted. The swordsman wasn't a deep thinker. Give him his swords and a few opponents, and he'd gladly leave the thinking to someone else. But once in a while something lodged itself in his mind, and he was forced to deal with it if he wanted to return to his own relatively undisturbed thoughts. Ever since he awoke from his delirium in the blonde cook's arms, one thing had been bouncing through his brain like one of Usopp's pachinkos: he wasn't sure what he felt about Sanji anymore.

It didn't make any goddamn sense. The bastard annoyed him to no end. But he remembered how good it felt to be held, the physical closeness that was so... nice. Snippets of dreams he'd had while not in his right mind were also surfacing randomly, rememberences of gore and tears and the strange feeling in his chest when he thought Sanji was gone. The whole situation felt like a weakness, and he growled angrily at nothing in particular. He hated being weak.

"Oi, there you are, Zoro!" The swordsman was barely aware of the rubber arm stretched to grasp the rail beside him before he was violently thrust into it, the rest of Luffy slamming into his tender back. His eyes watered as his injury protested, and he fought to regain the breath knocked from him by the force of the blow. Luffy sat up laughing from where he sprawled on the deck; Zoro cuffed him.

"Watch what you're doing, bastard!" He really didn't need the idiot to open up his stitches. The little fur ball would make him wait even longer before letting him continue training.

"Sorry," Luffy mumbled. Then as if a switch had been thrown, he grinned widely. "I'm glad I found you. I thought you might've fallen overboard, since I hadn't seen you."

"You're the only one who falls overboard," Zoro mumbled, thinking of the countless times he'd fished his captain from the sea.

"Huh?"

"Nothing." The swordsman eased himself to the deck and leaned back gingerly, settling his trio of kantanas next to him. "Now go away and let me sleep."

"Aww, Zoro, can't you at least come and sleep where you usually do? Where everybody else is?"

"'s quieter here," he mumbled, closing his eyes. Now was the time for his well-rehearsed look-at-me-I'm-sleeping pose. Then maybe his captain would grow bored and leave him alone.

"But Zoro," Luffy continued to whine, "it's like your hiding or something-"

The swordsman's eyes snapped open and he glared at him. "I'm not hiding," he growled.

"What else would you call it?" The young captain squatted down next to him and peered into his face, puzzled.

Zoro didn't have an answer, rather he scowled at Luffy before shutting his eyes again.

"Awww, come on." He reached out and began poking Zoro repeatedly in the shoulder. "Why aren't you listening to me? Huh? C'mon, Zoro, can't you pay attention to me for a minute? Why's everybody ignoring me today? You're worse than Sanji..." Luffy paused in mid-poke, and Zoro cracked an eye in both annoyance at being compared to the cook and to see what had caught the rubber man's attention.

Luffy had a look of intense concentration on his face, proof that he was thinking hard about something. Zoro almost expected to see smoke pouring out of his ears. Eventually something clicked, and the raven-haired pirate's mouth formed an 'O'. "Did you and Sanji have a bad fight? Is that why both of you are acting weird?"

"What! I don't know what's wrong with that shitty-cook."

A dark eyebrow lifted in skepticism. "I don't know... you two are the only ones acting funny." Luffy brought his face within inches of the swordsman's and frowned. "Are you lying to me?"

"Get the hell outta my face," Zoro growled, pushing the rubber man away roughly. "Let me sleep."

Luffy rubbed the shoulder Zoro struck and pursed his lips in frustration before stalking off. "Fine."

"Luffy." His captain stopped. "It's nothing, OK? I just need some time to myself, to figure some stuff out." The raven head bobbed once in acknowledgment before an arm stretched out to send him barreling into the crow's nest. And Usopp, by the sudden burst of indignant wailing.

Zoro closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind of insane captains and annoyingly attractive cooks. He'd work this mess out later.

* * *

A.N.: Senbei are Japanese rice crackers. And add this to your 'Story Alert' if you want to know when a new chapter comes out!  



	5. Chapter 5

_One Piece_ still isn't mine.

* * *

The bottle of brandy remained cradled in Sanji's hands for some time after the rest of the crew had gone to bed. He wasn't sure anymore if he was trying to find courage in the bottle or hoping that enough alcohol in his bloodstream would give him the words to say. Ever since Nami and his captain confronted him, he'd been trying to figure out just what he was supposed to say to the swordsman. He'd come to terms with the fact that he had feelings for the idiot; hell, if he wanted to get real technical about it, he might call it love. But he doubted his feelings were reciprocated. He could see it in his mind's eye: himself struggling through that embarrassing revelation with Zoro only to end his life a few seconds later on the end of a very sharp blade. Or two. Or three...

He'd given up the glass a while before. Nursing straight from the bottle, the cook felt his mind succumbing to an alcoholic haze. Sanji had come to the conclusion that he would talk to the shitty-swordsman, and if Zoro flipped out, at least he'd die mind-numbingly drunk.

"Don't know why I'm even trying," he slurred. "The only things he cares about are those damn swords." He stood carefully and grabbed the remains of his bottle as well as a full one of some good sake. Smoothing the way with alcohol couldn't hurt his cause any.

He wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or the ocean that made his steps uncertain. Probably the ocean. Yeah. With some careful maneuvering Sanji managed to get himself up the rigging and into the crow's nest.

* * *

Zoro woke from a light doze with a start as the lanky form of the cook fell into a heap beside him. If he wasn't mistaken, the man was sloshed; alcohol permeated the air around him in an almost visible haze. "Oi, shitty-cook, wha-"

"Here." The swordsman found a bottle thrust into his hands. "Thought you could use something better than that piss you usually drink."

Zoro arched an eyebrow at the blonde's odd act of kindness and pulled the cork out with his teeth. Throwing back his head, he took a long swallow, enjoying the burn of good alcohol biting pleasantly at his throat. "Mmm, 's good," he mumbled. Wiping his lips with the back of a hand, he peered suspiciously at the cook in the moonlight. "Did you fall and hit your head, asshole? Got me confused with some woman?" Sanji never seemed interested in being kind to him, and he couldn't understand why the cook would start now. Couldn't? Wouldn't. Delirious dreams didn't count for crap in real life. _No need to see things that didn't really exist._

"Just shut the fuck up." Sanji guzzled another mouthful of brandy before dropping the bottle between his drawn knees.

The swordsman sneered at the cook's pitiful form. "Why should I?"

"Because," the blonde snapped back, voice slurring. "I need to tell you something." He pulled the bottle unsteadily up for another drink.

"Oi, shithead, too much more of that and you won't be telling anybody anything." He grabbed the bottle from those long fingers, startled by the pleasant tingle he felt at the slight brush of skin. _Shitfuck_. What was wrong with him? "Like I care, anyway. Isn't there anyone else you could have your little heart-to-heart with?"

Blue eyes narrowed at the swordsman's comment. "You know what, why do I even try?" The cook staggered to his feet and made as if to climb back down to the deck. With one leg over the edge he suddenly stilled, and the swordsman watched him hover in indecision for only a moment before Sanji turned back towards him, twisted comically. A fiery look blazed in the cook's eyes that Zoro barely had time to ponder before the lithe form sprung drunkenly at him, a pair of warm lips crushing themselves awkwardly to his own.

* * *

Sanji was just going to leave the asshole right there and fuck telling him anything. Maybe he should have. But the taste of rum and something uniquely Zoro on those lips erased any thought of regret from his mind, feeling the swordsman tense at first, drawing a seeking tongue over frozen lips that soon softened and parted slightly in response. He invaded the swordsman's mouth with his tongue, reaching up to grasp the back of that green head in his hands. He could have wept with joy when he felt a hesitant return of his ministrations

At least until a calloused hand grabbed him by his hair and dragged him roughly from his goal. "What the fuck do you think you are doing, shitty-cook!" The harsh tone of his voice was utterly belied by the the rosy flush on Zoro's cheeks and moonlight shining off of his slick, kiss-swollen lips. How could the idiot walk around with a dumb look on his face ninety percent of the time and still manage... this? Alluringly ravished temptation.

The cook gazed at him with hooded eyes as he slowly drew a tongue over his own lips, relishing Zoro's still-lingering taste. "What's it look like, asshole?"

Zoro watched in disbelief. Here was the object of his fantasies practically in his lap, looking at him in a way that made him want to rip the cook's pants off and do things to him. Devilishly sinful things. He needed to put a stop to this now, while he still could, before something happened that they'd both regret later. "You're drunk," he growled. "How 'bout you get the hell off me and go sleep it off somewhere, you fucking pervert."

"No." One of Sanji's hands went to his hair, trying to dislodge the swordsman's fingers as the other grasped a handful of Zoro's shirt tightly. "I want this, with you. I've watched you for so long-" Zoro's fingers finally released their death grip on blonde hair- "and wanted to touch you. To taste you." Sanji's now unoccupied hand came down to trace the swordsman's lips before slipping under an arm to rest lightly over Zoro's latest injury. "And then you almost fucking died on me..." That smoky baritone voice trailed off and became silent for a moment, his next words almost sober. "Then I realized just how much you meant to me, asshole. I don't know if it's nakama, or love, or what this shitty feeling is. But..." Soft lips again drew closer with a sigh, brushing against stubble as he pressed light kisses along the swordsman's jaw line.

Whoa. Unexpected, yes, but not entirely unwelcome. Too bad Zoro's brain seemed to have checked out the moment a much too eager Sanji wiggled into the swordsman's lap, leaving no directions on how to deal with his lap's new drunk resident. It was at times like this that Zoro resorted to instinct. He kissed back eagerly, exploring every corner of the cook's mouth with his tongue and the savoring the strange combination of tobacco and spice.

The long fingers suddenly exploring the front of Zoro's pants were definitely unexpected. He gasped at the touch, eyes rolling up in his head as he arched against those seeking fingers, head thumping soundly against the wall of the crow's nest. _Wait, he's drunk, you're on watch, it's too sudden, oh shit _more_, please..._

And it was at that moment that whatever gods might exist decided to play a very nasty joke on the future world's-greatest-swordsman. Sanji slumped forward with a low moan, fingers going slack as his face smashed unceremoniously into Zoro's chest. The swordsman watched with dawning horror as the blonde continued his downward drift, finally keeling over with one leg twisted awkwardly over Zoro's lap and his head clunking against the floor. Soft snores followed a few heartbeats later.

_No!_ Zoro's mind checked back in just in time to mentally whimper at the unfairness of it all.

* * *

A.N.: Add this to your 'Story Alerts' to find out when a new chapter is posted! 


	6. Chapter 6

_One Piece_ still isn't mine.

* * *

His protesting bladder and the sunlight stabbing needles through his eyelids finally broke into Sanji's unconsciousness.

The cook groaned and took mental inventory. Clothes? More than the last time he'd passed out drunk, anyway. Aches and pains? His head felt as if it was stuck between that crazy monkey Masira's cymbal-smashing figurehead. The muscles of his lower back ached in protest of the wooden floor he felt beneath him, though... whatever it was he'd managed to collapse against as a pillow seemed comfortable enough. Nothing to suggest he'd gotten into a fight or something equally damaging. Oh, and his mouth had that cottony, disgustingly dry feeling that told Sanji he'd had too much alcohol and not enough water. Damn it. He hated hangovers.

Now he just had to figure out where the hell he was. Bleary eyes cracked open only to clamp shut again at the intruding brightness. Maybe... maybe he should just lay here some more until his head didn't protest so much. Throwing an arm over his eyes, he pressed back into his pillow, trying to get more comfortable.

"Oi, cook."

Sanji froze. Zoro? _Yeah, Zoro_, his fuzzy mind finally decided to chime in, _the green-haired swordsman who you have the hots for. Same guy the thoughts of which you tried to drown out of me last night with all that booze. Remember him_? "Oh shit," the cook moaned. What had he, they, done last night? All he could remember was the drinking part; nothing about even ending up anywhere near the Marimo. This wasn't the way it was supposed to go.

Suddenly the hangover didn't seem so bad.

"Dammit, Sanji, I know you're awake." His pillow shifted. _I fell asleep _on _him_? "It's morning, my watch is almost over and the others are gonna be up soon. Off."

"Shove it, 'm moving." The blonde managed to unglue his sticky eyelids again as he pulled away, headache complaining violently. Morbid curiosity forced him to look at the other man, as if daring reality to coincide with the scenarios of his vividly conjuring imagination.

Zoro merely watched him before unrolling the mass of cloth that lay on his thigh. Separating Sanji's jacket and his haramaki from the makeshift pillow, he tossed the cook's clothing to him. "Here."

Sanji unsuccessfully tried to smooth out the wrinkles before slipping it on. He couldn't bring himself to look at the swordsman again, not while he couldn't remember what exactly had gone on between them while he was drunk. "I'd... better go start breakfast," he mumbled, standing carefully and making for the edge of the crow's nest.

"Wait." Zoro's large hand landed heavily on his shoulder and stopped the cook in his tracks. "We, um, should talk."

The blonde whipped around to stare at Zoro, eyes widening as the blood drained from his face. O_h God, we _did_ do something, I knew it, shit shit shit-_

Zoro blinked confusedly as Sanji paled and recoiled slightly from his touch. "What? What's wrong- oh." He'd wondered how much the other would remember, and from the panicked look on the cook's face, not nearly as much as he'd hoped. He let his hand drop from the blonde and softened his voice. "Look, nothing happened last night, ok?"

Sanji wasn't sure what was worse, feeling himself go pale or feeling the heat creep up his neck and face in what he knew to be a visible wave of scarlet. Lithe fingers patted anxiously at his pockets, searching for a much-needed cigarette. Fuck. Must have left them in the galley. "Yeah, I... I knew that, bastard," he growled.

Uh-huh. The cook could be such a stubborn son-of-a-bitch at times. Pulling the knit green fabric of his trademark waistband over his head and settling it around his waist, he continued to watch Sanji with an almost amused gaze. "Sure didn't look like it, dartboard eyebrow."

"Fuck you." He'd had enough of this... this... conversation. Breakfast needed started, his head demanded painkillers before it exploded, and his bladder reminded him ever so worryingly that he needed to piss. Soon. Clambering over the side of the crow's nest and down the rigging, he mentally berated himself for drinking himself into whatever stupidity that had ended up with the two of them alone together.

"Good morning, Cook-san." The blonde loosed an uncharacteristic yelp and turned to find Robin almost at his elbow, traveling in the opposite direction. Her lips twisted in one of her mysteriously amused smiles. "Is Swordsman-san awake?"

"Y-yes. Stupid bastard."

"Were the two of you fighting already? Isn't it a bit early for that?"

Sparing a glance up to where Zoro sat perched, he sneered. "That idiot swordsman is always up for a fight." Sanji's face, though upon returning to Robin, quickly melted into its usual girl-crazy grin. "But what are you doing up so early? You should still be getting your beauty rest. Though it's not as though you need it," he added hurriedly.

"It's my watch."

The blonde mentally smacked himself for asking about the obvious. "Yes, yes, of course. Well, I'd better be going. Breakfast, you know."

Robin chuckled and continued her ascent. "Of course."

Dammit. He couldn't even find much pleasure in watching her shapely backside wiggle its way up the rope.

* * *

"So you lied to me."

Zoro gritted his teeth and tried to remain the mature one. Sanji was making it hard as hell; he'd come down here to say what needed to be said, to find out what exactly was going to happen next between the two of them, and the grouchy cook seemed determined to bite his head off.

"I didn't lie to you, idiot. Nothing really happened, besides you copping a feel. And I'm being a goddamn adult and forgiving you for it since you were drunk off your ass." He watched incredulously as Sanji tried to ignore him. "Why would you drink like that if you couldn't hold it, anyway?"

The cook said nothing, smoking furiously. The angry crashing of pots and utensils continued to be the only sounds in the kitchen.

Frustrated, Zoro ran fingers through his hair. "You know... you could have just said something. Instead of, um, jumping in my lap like that."

More clattering. The splash of water hitting the bottom of the teakettle.

The swordsman slammed his fist into the table. "Dammit, Sanji-"

"And what was it I should have said?" Sanji's wiry form stilled, shoulders humping in dejection. "Hmm? That you getting shot scared the shit out of me? That I couldn't sleep while you tossed and turned, that watching you cry out during your fever tore my heart into little pieces and made me want to do whatever I could to calm you down?" He laughed bitterly. "Yeah. I saw how well that would have gone over, when you pummeled me with your damn fist the second you were lucid enough to realize I was there."

"Shitty-cook-"

"Shut the fuck up! I'm not finished!" The blonde attacked breakfast with renewed vigor, the rattling of cookware resounding twice as loud as before. "You're stubborn and annoying as hell and-" Sanji didn't notice as Zoro approached him from behind, arm reaching hesitantly across the blonde's shoulders before dropping to them in an awkward attempt at comfort. The cook twisted to gape open-mouthed at the other man.

"Yeah, that's me. Stubborn and annoying as hell. Not nearly as much as you, though." Thin shoulders violently shrugged, trying to dislodge Zoro's arm, single blue eye narrowing and promising much pain if the other man didn't move now. "But do you think I'd jump in front of a bullet just for kicks?"

The blonde quieted and stared at him for a moment before returning his gaze to the counter. "I guess not," he mumbled.

"So I guess, well, what I wanted to say is, uh..." Turning Sanji to face him so he could rest an hand on each side of the other's neck, he cleared his throat. "Can we try and see where this thing goes?"

"This 'thing'?"

"Um, yeah. You... and me." How much more embarrassingly awkward could the moment get? "More than friends, that is." He couldn't help the familiar barb, "Bastard."

Silence. Sanji simply stared, face unreadable, as Zoro fought the urge to fidget. Until finally he sighed and pulled the cigarette from his mouth to lean forward and rest his forehead against the swordsman tiredly. "You're gonna have to work on your romance, idiot."

"Is that a yes?"

"...Do you want a goddamn flashing neon sign?"

Ah. The thought was vaguely disturbing. "I guess not."

CRASH "Sanji! I'm hungry! Where's breakfast?" Luffy skidded to a halt just inside the galley doorway. "Oh." Dark gaze flitting between his speechless nakama, eyes growing as round as saucers, he backed out and shut the door behind him.

"Oh no," Sanji and Zoro groaned almost in tandem.

"HEY EVERYBODY, ZORO AND SANJI MADE UP AND THEY'RE _HUGGING_!"

The moment definitely got more embarrassingly awkward as their captain's yells alerted the rest of the crew (and any neighboring islands) of the situation in the galley.


	7. Chapter 7

_One Piece isn't mine. So please don't sue me…_

* * *

Sanji felt the heavy weight of dark eyes on him the moment he walked out of the bathroom but ignored it. Which was a mistake.

One moment he'd been idly tousling water from his hair and the next rough hands seized his in a steely grip, a hard body crushing Sanji to the worn wood of the storage room wall and trapping his legs. The sudden assault left him blinking stupidly while Zoro pressed forward, capturing his lips in an enthusiastic kiss.

"Fucker," he hissed, twisting away from the zealous swordsman. "What's wrong with you?!"

The movement left the cook's neck wide open for Zoro's suddenly lonely lips and he attacked it with vigor, mumbling as teeth grazed soft skin. "Nothin's… wrong with me… shitty cook."

The not entirely unwanted attention sapped his desire to get away almost faster than Luffy could eat. "We're gonna get caught again, and this time I will kick your ass," Sanji growled, wrists still clasped in the swordsman's large hands. It happened every time they attempted to do anything; somebody showed up and ran screaming, or laughed, or teased, or something… It was frustrating as hell. Sanji was not an exhibitionist, dammit; he didn't exactly want their activities broadcast to the entire ship, but that seemed impossible on a vessel this small. Zoro kept trying, Sanji protested (before giving in), they got caught, Sanji bitched Zoro out, and the whole confrontation regressed into a vicious skirmish that inevitably resulted in things being broken. Two weeks of not getting anywhere in this relationship was wearing on the cook's frayed nerves.

"Eh, not likely." Apparently deciding that the blonde wouldn't try to kill him if he got free, Zoro shifted to release those deadly legs and pressed himself between, continuing in his explorations of pale skin.

The worn cotton rubbing over Sanji's bare chest, the hot breath over his saliva-damp neck, and rock hard thighs between his own quickly convinced the cook that he didn't want to argue, that there were better things to do. "Let go of my hands, asshole."

"Nope."

Teeth on collarbone and _oh yesss_ that spot right there drew faint noises from the captured chef. "Come on, you domineering bastard. I can't do anything this way…"

"Mmm-hmm." The stupid marimo sounded almost glad about the prospect, Sanji noted darkly. He squirmed, trying to get loose, but only accomplished to make certain parts of himself very, very happy. Which apparently worked both ways as he received a pleased grunt and answering wriggle from the swordsman.

"Sanji, are you done yet? I need to get- WHOA." Usopp stopped, pivoted, and was back out the storage room door (which stood open, Sanji realized belatedly) with a speed that probably could have won him awards. "I didn't see anything… I didn't see them humping each other again, no I didn't..."

"Goddamn fucking Longnose," Zoro growled, not even fazed as his head dropped lower and an eager mouth went at sandy-brown nipples like they were candy.

But as usual the interruption completely ruined the mood for Sanji. He put his flexibility to good use by slamming his heel right into the horny idiot's stupid green head.

* * *

"-so I walked in on them again. 's not like they even tried to be stealthy about it." The liar added another drop of tabasco to the mixture before him, eyes fixed on his work even as he continued in his tirade to Nami. "I don't care all that much, but… They always fight after they get caught and then I have to fix the damage. Merry's not invincible, you know!"

Nami bobbed her head in reply, newspaper lying forgotten in her lap as she frowned. "I think we've all walked in on them at least once. And fixing things every time gets so damn expensive-"

"Oi, Nami, Robin, Usopp! What're you guys doing?" Luffy bounced over (literally; Usopp hunched over his work to protect it from the flailing rubber limbs). Heaving himself onto the rail, he peered at his crewmates curiously.

They exchanged looks. Finally Robin smiled, slipping a bookmark between the worn pages of her book and setting it carefully aside. "They were just discussing Cook-san and Swordsman-san's… dilemma."

"Dill-ema-ma…" The rubber boy's face scrunched in concentration as he rolled the unfamiliar word around in his mouth. Suddenly he perked up. "Oh, they have a plant? That's weiiird…"

The only thing that kept Nami from socking him right then and there was Usopp's quick words. "No, Luffy, not dill." He waved the navigator back with a pleading hand, dark eyes fixed on their captain. "Dilemma. Like, a problem. We're talkin' about Zoro and Sanji's problem."

Luffy's mouth formed an 'O' of understanding. "Ah, their problem… Which one?"

The Wrath of Nami descended.

Several minutes later, after Nami calmed down and Usopp conveyed the problem to their captain in terms he could comprehend, Luffy rubbed at the throbbing bump on his head and nodded. "So they just need some alone time." Rubber lips stuck out in an unattractive pout. "You coulda told me that, you didn't have to hit me…"

"I'll hit you again if you don't stop being annoying."

Luffy eeped and scooted closer to Usopp, who quickly moved the test tube he'd been working with to the (relative) safety of his far hand.

"Well," Robin started after a moment's silence, "Navigator-san was telling me about the island we will be reaching in a matter of days. According to Cook-san, we'll need to spend at least a day gathering supplies, and Merry needs some additional repairs..."

"Yeah," Usopp mumbled grumpily.

"… so why don't we take a bit of a rest here?" Robin's eyes twinkled as she settled further back into the deck chair. "We have more than enough money to rent a few rooms for a night or two."

"Robin, do you realize how much that would cost?!"

Luffy interrupted. "But Nami, just think! Real beds to bounce on. Maybe one of those hot tub things you like so much."

The redhead began ticking a mental checklist off on her fingertips. _A bed I don't have to make, letting Sanji and Zoro blow off some steam, rickety hotel room locks I can pick, probably loads of valuables to make off with, mmm, hot tubs… _

Utter bliss spread across their captain's face, his eyes shining as he clasped hands together in glee. "And maybe even room service!"

Three sets of hands smacked him with varying amounts of intensity, voices chiming in unison. "Oh hell no."

* * *

"But Nami-san, you don't need to spend money on an extra room! The Brainless Wonder and myself can easily stay with the other guys…"

Five Strawhat pirates stood around the doorway of the hotel room, watching their other two nakama. Sanji looked… nervous? Worried? Embarrassed? Whatever it was, it was quite in contrast to Zoro's smug grin. Nami couldn't keep the conniving sneer from her face as she pointed between them. "No. You and Zoro are going to take some one-on-one time and get some of those blasted hormones out of your systems so you don't drive the rest of us crazy."

Sanji sputtered. "B-b-but Nami-san-"

"That means," Luffy interjected from his perch on Usopp's back, "you guys can have sex."

"Luffy!"

"What? That's why we got them their own room. So they can do it without us walking in on it, right?"

"You're not supposed to just blurt it out like that, stupid!" Usopp hissed.

"But it's the truth!"

"ANYWAY," Nami cut in, rolling her eyes. "We'll leave you two to do whatever. Fight, sleep, screw… Just do something, ok? I don't think either of you realize how stressful it is to live under all the tension you two have been oozing."

The swordsman's face darkened as a hand tightened over the hilt of his katana. "Oi, witch, if you think I'm gonna stand here and listen to you tell us what to do-"

"You will unless you want your interest rate to go up again," the navigator sang sweetly.

_mumblemumble_bitch_mumble…_

"Don't you even think about insulting my beautiful Nami-san, you stupid excuse for-"

Any further arguments were cut off when feminine arms blossomed all around Sanji and Zoro, pulling, pushing, tugging them (with mild protests) into their room before closing the door, leaving the hall in relative silence. After a few moments, the remaining Strawhat pirates turned to stare questioningly at their oldest crewmate.

Robin shrugged. "At the risk of using a rather bad pun, sometimes love needs a bit of a 'helping hand', wouldn't you agree?" She turned and headed towards the exit. "Now why don't we leave our friends to themselves for a little while? The marketplace of this town looks to be quite promising." The rest of the crew agreed and followed quietly after her, stealing covert glances back towards the closed door they had just left with a mixture of relief, curiosity, and humor.

Nakama looked out for each other's interests, after all. Especially when the stubborn idiots refused to do it for themselves.


	8. Chapter 8

Well, after losing all my work due to a computer crash and just being utterly swamped with life for waaaay too long, I finally present to you the LAST chapter of 'Of Rifles and Repercussions.' Please enjoy!

_One Piece isn't mine. So please don't sue me…  
_

* * *

Rain splattered messily against the antique glass windowpane, sending odd shadows over the bed from the streetlamp outside. Bedsprings creaked as Sanji shifted and turned another page in his book, sprawled across the bed and taking up as much room as possible. Just to piss Zoro off, of course. 

They'd been stuck in this godforsaken room for a day and a half now. Well, not completely. After being tugged into their room by disembodied arms and left to sort out what ailed them, the two men settled into their most tried and true method of resolving conflict: beating the crap out of each other. Much broken furniture, bloodied lips, cuts, and bruises later, the blonde cook stomped off to track down his precious Nami-san. Too bad apologies for Zoro's brutish behavior went unheeded when she found out the cost of damages. He'd returned, cowed and not in the mood for anything amorous, to kick the swordsman and demand that the bed was off-limits to his horny marimo ass. And so they spent their first night of solitude growling at each other from opposite corners of the room.

The following morning filled itself with shopping and general wanderings around town as the crew went about their business; Sanji managed to cross off most of his list before the dark storm clouds rolled in and the first pattering raindrops sent them all scrambling for shelter. One good book on local culinary customs and a rare opportunity for uninterrupted reading combined to entertain the cook for most of the afternoon.

Too bad he only had a few pages left and it was still pouring outside.

Springs shifted again as a damp Zoro perched on the end of the bed, rolling his shoulders and stretching before bending down to tug off worn leather boots. Where the shitty idiot had been all afternoon Sanji had no idea, but from the way he moved, the blonde guessed he'd just finished another one of his strenuous workouts. Somewhere. Trust the marimo to ignore such a perfect opportunity to relax. "Oi, asshole, off the bed. You're blocking my light." He waved the book at the lamp sitting atop the plain wooden dresser on the other side of Zoro.

"Eh, shaddup. Not like I'm gonna jump you or something."

Sanji grunted and returned to his reading, watching the swordsman from the corner of his eye just in case he decided to pull something. Distraction quickly came when Zoro tugged his shirt over bronzed skin, using it to rub the sweat and rainwater from his brow before tossing it into a corner. Distraction continued as the swordsman lapsed into a series of deep breaths, settling into an informal meditation to finish bringing his heart rate down.

Talk about concentration being shot all to hell. "How long are you going to sit there and drip sweat on my bed, you muscle-brained idiot?"

"…As long as I feel like it."

The book landed with a thunk as Sanji tossed it to the windowsill. He was disgusted with himself and Zoro; Zoro for being oblivious and himself for mentally drooling over the other's broad back. Well, not so much disgusted. For some reason he felt like he needed to allow himself just enough token resistance to the temptation so he would have nothing to feel guilty about later. As stupid as that was. Azure eyes traced the fine network of scars spider-webbing over perfectly toned muscles; some injuries he could recall, others not so much, but the one that grabbed and held his attention lay just to the side of Zoro's right shoulder blade. New with that fresh-scar-pink that he knew so well, the testament to a life saved and a sacrifice made to protect. He had… had never really seen it so close, not since tending it all those days ago. For some reason it brought a weird lump to his throat that he quickly swallowed down.

Tentative fingers reached out and hovered over the scar, almost as if apprehensive of the consequences sure to come at the touch, but Sanji had had enough of waiting, of skating around what he knew he wanted. What they both wanted. He brushed over the rough tissue, examining the ridges and depressions while its owner stilled as if turned to stone. He noted the odd starburst pattern the bullet had torn in Zoro's flesh and wondered how the swordsman had been blessed (or cursed) with such luck as to always hang on to the slightest shred of life and bounce back even stronger than before.

Zoro finally spoke, his deep baritone rumbling through the small room. "Oi, cook. What are you doing?"

"Just looking."

A pause. "Why? Have a scar fetish or somethin'?"

"Arg, fuck you." Sanji snatched his hand away as if burned, rolling over throw an arm across his face to hide the embarrassed flush sure to be staining his cheeks. Trust the idiot marimo to ruin a mood.

The mattress dipped and shifted as Zoro moved, sidling up next to Sanji to stare at him. Moments passed as neither spoke. Eventually the blonde felt blunt fingers probe none-too-gently at his stomach. "Oi. You still awake?"

"I'm not YOU! I don't fall asleep at any opportune moment!"

"Damn, you don't need to yell. I just asked a simple question." Fingertips moved cautiously from probing to tracing lopsided circles around the buttons of his dress shirt, absently moving from one to another. "…You know," Zoro began again, "we're here by ourselves."

"Hn."

"And the door's locked. So… nobody can walk in on us."

A longsuffering sigh. "You know, you could just outright ask, instead of all this roundabout shit. Besides," Sanji peeked out from beneath his arm, "why are you acting all awkward all of a sudden? You always dove in and started molesting me whenever you felt like it before."

"That was… different," the swordsman growled. "Rushed. We never got to be alone like this, not really."

"It's not different, you simple-minded fool. Either get down here and kiss me or –_mmph_!"

The sudden face-full of Zoro (and accompanying smoosh of hot, sweaty manflesh against his body as the other pounced) startled Sanji into an unusual bout of surprised silence, broken only when the swordsman's uncoordinated movements finally resulted in a thigh right -_mmmn_- there that forced a low moan from the blonde's lips.

_Holy shit that felt good._

That muted noise seemed only to spur Zoro on and, not to be outdone, Sanji joined in just as enthusiastically; bodies began writhing and moving in a tangled mass of limbs as they fought for leverage, fought for dominance, fought to be the one garnering the loudest moan from the other… Fighting, as they always did, as they always would, even after all the sacrifices and failed romps and murmured words in the dark, for that was who they were, and they could be no other way. Bedsprings creaked as Sanji at last gave in, rolled back on the bottom but with one of Zoro's thighs clasped between his own as the swordsman began rocking in such a way that had the blonde seeing stars.

"Nnhn… Zoro."

Okay, maybe not stars, more like flashing lights that refused to go away even when he shut his eyes and threw back his head in an involuntary gasping whine, lights that seemed to grow just a little brighter with each slide of still-clothed flesh.

"Zoro, wait…"

Goddammit his pants were tight; if he got any harder he might just burst through the front of them. He wanted out of the constricting material now, please, but he was having trouble forming words and Zoro did not seem to be concerned about the whole clothing issue and _ooooh shit_ they were going to have a problem here in a moment if he did not get out of these fucking pants!

"Sh-shit, Zoro, I need… I need to…"

But as usual the swordsman was ignoring him and doing exactly what he wanted, which in this case involved indulging the cook with a breathy moan of his own and sucking eagerly at Sanji's neck while he Just Kept Moving.

"Wait wait wait oh -god- _uugh_!"

And suddenly it didn't matter any more as Sanji's whole body just sort of spasmed and arched clear off the bed, those flashing lights flaring in one glorious burst as he cried out, Zoro's name and various curses rolling brokenly off his tongue. He came, clinging to his likewise quivering lover, the frustrations of the past few weeks swiftly receding from his mind under the overwhelming onslaught of bliss.

* * *

All good things must come to an end, as the old adage goes. 

For Sanji, the end came as realization sank in, much like the wet warmth sinking into and spreading across the front of his slacks.

"Fucker," the blonde groaned, dropping a half-hearted kick to the backside of the panting man still sprawled lethargically over him. "That was most incredible sex I've ever had. And that is considered a use of sarcasm, in case you're too obtuse to figure it out." He winced, shifting carefully and trying to ignore the sensation of warm fluid dripping slowly between his thighs. "You made me come in my damn pants, you impatient bastard."

"Hn." Zoro grunted and pulled himself up to one elbow, grinning satedly down at Sanji. "So did I. Felt good, though."

"…Stop smiling at me like that, it's creepy. I hope you don't plan on making a habit of this, Marimo-head, because if you do, it's not going to happen nearly as often as you think it should and you'll be the one stuck doing the laundry. Shit, it's not that hard to get our clothes off before you start humping me."

"Tch, you liked it. Besides, it was kind of an accident. 'S what happens after you teased me so bad for so long without us getting anywhere."

"I did not tease you." Sanji huffed and tried to wriggle out from under the other man, to no avail. He was not about to listen to such things, no matter how gooey his muscles might be feeling after their rather quick round of sex.

"Hey." One broad hand landed on his shoulder to still the wiggling as Zoro leaned down for another kiss, this one much more relaxed than the one that had started off their previous activities. "No need to get all riled up on me, love-cook. We got the edge off, so next time'll be better." Zoro pulled back as the man beneath him stilled, fingers already working at the front of the blonde's pants. Easing the soiled material down over slim hips, he continued. "We have all of tonight and however long you want to try this 'us' thing to practice."

The cook snorted and wrapped an arm around Zoro's shoulders, fingertips tracing The Scar. "Yeah, I guess we do, thanks to your penchant for pain. Just promise me one thing, idiot."

"What?"

"Next time somebody's aiming to shoot me, tell me to duck. It'll save us both a lot of time and energy."

The swordsman bent to nip lightly at Sanji's lips. "Sure, but if being shot means getting into your pants…"

Sanji grumbled something about numbskulls who think with their swords and allowed himself to be drawn into Zoro's embrace once more, the kick he gifted the other with far from punishing.

* * *

_Omake 1_

Sleep was something Nami usually did not have a problem acquiring, much like money or jewels that had caught her fancy. She could even sleep through the horrific chorus of the boys' snoring if the necessity presented itself. But somehow, being heralded with the enthusiastic sounds of Zoro and Sanji's coupling in the middle of the night just didn't do anything for her.

Robin chuckled. "Perhaps next time, Navigator-san, you shall acquire rooms a bit further away from our ardent crewmates?"

Nami simply groaned and stuffed her head under her pillow.

* * *

_Omake 2_

Meanwhile, in the room opposite, three boys lay curled together in the dark, listening to the banging of a headboard on the other side of the wall. Well, two of them were, at any rate. Chopper rested snugly in the shelter of one of Luffy's arms, much like a living, breathing teddy bear, and slept on, oblivious.

"Oi, Usopp… What are they doing?"

The sharpshooter mumbled something unintelligible and stuffed a few more cotton balls in his ears.

"Sounds like they're having fun."

Usopp snorted. "…I guess."

Luffy blinked at his friend for a moment before breaking into a wide grin, reaching over with his free hand to poke him in the shoulder. "Can we try?"

Eyes widening, Usopp gurgled for a moment before responding with a rather high-pitched "No!"

The rubber boy giggled. Chopper merely continued in his oblivious sleep with a happy sigh.

* * *

A.N.: The end! Thanks so much for your patience and for sticking through until the end. I learned lots during the process, and hopefully managed to provide you with some entertainment. :D One Piece forever! 


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